The Great Get Away

Williamsburg: May, 2005
Mark and I with a new found friend; wish I could remember its name....and yes, my only are my legs showing, but my hair is uncovered. But then, Mark and I aren't married yet.

Funny looking at these pictures. Mark gained weigh from Chemo; me from taking streoids to remove a nasel growth. We have both lost some much weigh since then we look like different people.

The Governor House. Since we didn't have Guest passes, we couldn't go into. That would have to wait until our honeymoon.

The Mail Office.

It was a wonderful, restful three days. We left Friday before Shabbat and returned Sunday evening.

The first night. Mark and I had supper in his room. I ordered a hamburger and fries, he the Governor's Special; fowl and spring veggies.

When our meal arrived and the waiter left, we Blessed G-d for the food and Mark got the shock of his life.

The piece of fowl barely fit in the palm of his hand. It was really a Chicken McNuggart. The veggies were tiny and a spoonful.

"Your kidding!"

I had to work hard not to laugh. My supper was less than $20.00.

Mark's 35.00

So, after Mark finished his three bite chicken, I cut my hamburger in half and shared half my fries.

He walked me to my room, said good-night and in the quiet of my room, burst out laughing.

A Breather

In May, our lives changed.

We went from having another three months to plan our wedding to suddnely four weeks before the big day.

And that is a huge jump.

With the preparings there was major family illnesses and Mark and I spend much of our time running from hosptial to hosptial to assistance care. Thankfully, Mark had finish is Chemo and was getting to get his colour back, but he still tired easy and there were times I was concern about his health. And naturally we were beginning to snap at each other.

Finally, at one point, Mark looked at me and said, "Enough!"

"Excuse me?"

"Enough. Enough of this. We have been taking care of everyone but each other. We need to get away. Just enjoy being in love."

I can live with that.

So, that weekend, which was a three day weekend, Mark and I threw packed our over night bags, turned off his cell-phone and headed for Williamburge, Virginia.

Williamsburge is beautiful in the Spring. After settling into our rooms, we began to unwind.

Peace.

Quiet.

No drama.

Mark had been waiting for his back pay, since we were planning a honeymoon trip to Israel. But since the pay still haven't come in, we had to make other plans.
And since Mark and I both love history, we decided Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown for our honeymoon. One cannot take in Williamsburg in less than three days.

Of course we didn't tell anyone about our plans until after we came home.

So, here we are, all alone, save tourist, remembering what was really important.

Each other.

Put Them In Check

This lovely couple are not only best buddies, but family, Rudy and Jereel.
And during the preparation of our wedding, Rudy saved many a life.
One of the things I came to realize is dispite the face we were an older couple and paying for our own wedding, that people, friend and family, would still feel they had the right to say something about our wedding.
"Why do you have to have such a big wedding?"
"Why don't you just elope or go to the Justice of the Peace?"
"It's isn't going to be a Jewish Wedding, is it?"
"You'd been married before, what's the big deal?"
And then there is my all time favorite: "Your not wearing white, are you?"
No, I wore ivory and if I did chose to wear white that would be MY business. In a Jewish wedding, it isn't about how many times you have been married. A Jewish wedding is about celebrating a new beginning, a new creation. This bride and this groom make a new family. White is wore to celebrate a fresh start; white is the sign of joy and happiness. That is why a Jewish woman, whether widow or divorced wears white, because this is a new beginning.
Mark, knowing my heart, wanted to give me the wedding of my dreams. He wanted to celebrate his love for me and this wedding was his love gift to me, his beloved.
I remember one Shabbat, in tears, speaking to Rudy because of the trouble we were having.
"Tell me ask you a few questions," I remember Rudy saying.
"Who is Mark marrying? Who is paying for this wedding? If they don't have a shilling in that pound, then girlfriend, you need to put those folks in check."
How right she was.
So the next time someone had something to say about the Wedding, I simply said: "Mark and I figured out how much we wish to spend on this wedding. How much are you planning to chip in?"
A few days later, I had to inform someone at Beth Messiah that Mark told me to tell anyone who has a problem with how we are doing things, come talk to him.
Problem solved.

In May, we had members on both side of the families become ill. Mark and I were running here, there and everywhere taking care of this person, looking after that person, along with planning our wedding. And in the mist, we saw once again, hands working to pull us apart.
Having sat down with our Rabbi, it was decicded to push up the wedding date to June. This way we could deal with all that we facing as a couple.
We were thankful the vendors were able to work with us. But this met the lost of several memebers of our wedding party, but thankfully we had enough time to do some adjustments
And I felt better with getting married in June.
But this meant we had to work twice as hard and fast on the Huppah.

And Then It Happen

Me, working on our Huppah. Our Huppah is a huge Prayer shawel with the colours from the Tent of Meetings.

In each corner is a Lion of Yudah. On them are stitched our Hebrew names, place and date of marriage.

Mark's Prayer Shawl. Made of Gold ribbons that denotes he will be the priest of our home. My love gift to my bridegroom.

So with the date (August) the Place (Beth Messiah) the Theme (High Priest Marriage to the Daughter of the High Priest) and wedding party (Sarah, brides maids, our sisters and my namesake as flower girl, four Huppah holders and two bestmen) flowers ordered,decorator in place, we began the work of the Huppah and Mark's wedding attire.
Any couple that can survive their wedding plans are sure to have awonderful life together.
I could "see" how the Huppah would look, but examing it to Mark was another matter. After, who doesn't understand "this big and this long???"
A man who needs measurements.
Details, details.
So, I began went through my sewing box and after blowing off the dust, handed Mark my measuring tape.
"You sew and you don't us a measuring tape?"
Go figure!
We went to up to the spot where the Huppah would be posted and Mark took measurements of the stage, based on where the posts should rest. This way I had a picture in my head of how it would be placed and Mark had his measuremnents for the materials.
We found two lovley pieces of linen; one for the Huppah and the other for his Prayer Shawel. We had to go to all five Michael in our area for find enough royal red, blue, purple and gold ribbons. The silver bells and Stars of David were at a ScrapeBook store.
In each corner was a cross-stitched Lion of Yudah. Mark, who cross-stitches also did two and I did the other two.
This was the beginning of our learning to work, learning each other's languge and creating our own.
And then it happen:
Family drama.
Fact is: the birthing of a blessed union, a man and woman leaving their homes and becoming one is no mean feat. There is bound to be fireworks and flairups.
And we were no exception.
We thought since we were paying for our wedding, planning and doing the work, there should be no problems within the families.
Yeah. Right.

The Theme

Life has been crazy, but I am finally getting back to this jounral:

Every wedding has a theme. Even if is a simple, imformal affair, it reflects the couple and their relationship.
I had dreamed of a Jewish wedding for years; the making of my own Huppah and prayer shawel for my beloved. A veiling, the breaking of the glass. I also knew I wanted the Banners and dancers.
During the time of our courntship and engagement, we were studying the Book of Revelation. The Theme is the marriage of the High Priest (Yeshua) to the daughter of the High Priest (Believers) it is a royal wedding. Since as believers, we are a "royal priesthood" I took the idea and ran with it. Thus the idea of a Garden wedding, liken to the returning to the Garden of Eden.
I was thinking small, but Mark said he knew my heart and wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams.
And I did.
The colours were ivory and lavender. The plan was for Mark's buddy Sam (they served in Iraq together) to be bestman and my namesake, Little Elana to be my Flowergirl. Nice and simple.
Yeah, Right.

Since the Huppah would have to be held, we had to have Huppah holders. I wanted the Dancers and the Banners. And of course with a formal wedding gown, a wedding party.
So, with everything in place, we begin to work to make the wedding of our dreams come true.
And also have a very wise Rabbi who reminded us that the Wedding is One day, the Marriage is a lifetime. Remember which is more important.

The Place

Yes, I loved our Synagoguge.
But it was in a word: ugly.
It had been transformed from a Christian grade school and still had the look despite the objects of worship that grace the building.
We looked at several places.
Mark didn't wish a garden wedding. He had been a best man in one and it rained that day. He was in his army blues. Wool.
Do you know what wool smells like when it is wet?
So a garden wedding was out.
Or was it?
We looked at several places. They either didn't fit who we were, or we would not be able to have pictures taken during the services. Many places do not allow pictures to be taken during the service. But our rabbi felt that the Spirit of G-d wasn't afraid of a light bulb. As long as the photograhper didn't draw attention to himself, no one had a problem.
So, it was Beth Messiah that we would get married.
But as I looked about, I begin to see that the ugly 'clemet blocks' could be viewed as a wall. A garden wall.
So, we decided on lighted evergreen trees on either sider of the room, with a Arch draped with grapes in the back. This would give the feel of a walled Isreali Garden. I would have gone for a fountion, but it was on the pricey side.

You Look Like A Woman Loved

As we went about our wedding plans, an amazing thing happen.
It was as if Mark recieved permission to express what was truly in his arm. Always the gentleman, Mark could now be found holding my hand, playing with my hair, or holding me in his arms. He said one of the nice things about holding me; I didn't pull away, but would just allow him to hold me. His lips would often brush against my cheek or forehead.
And he allowed me to love him. He would rest his head upon my shoulder, alow me to rub his shoulder. He began open and laughed easy and often.
Between the Cancer and allowing love into his life, Mark was born anew.
I remember one day while having lunch with a friend, she said to me, "you looked like a woman who is loved."
I smiled and nodded. "I am.
We prayed together. Studied together. Worked on our wedding together and fought his cancer together.
There were times I thought this was nothing more than a dream.
But then I would look into thoses beautiful blue-green eyes and realize it was all real.
Mark loved me. And this summer, we would be married.