Tuesday, 2 June 2009


I confess: I had three Bridezilla moments.
Mark said he was very proud of me.
Considering I was marrying Groomzilla, that was saying something.
The first was my dealings with Information, trying to obtain a phone number.
If you work the Information line, take my advise; if you are dealing with a screaming mimi on the other end of the phone, you are dealing with a stressed out bride. Saying; "now, now dearie," is going to cause a sudden blast and you find yourself  a pile of ciders. Just take a deep breath and move heaven and earth if need be to find the phone number she is demanding and no one will get hurt.
The dodo I was dealing with didn't know this. And it didn't help when Mark, having found my personal phonebook, pointed to the very number I was looking for.
But imformation couldn't find it....
Mark, taking his life in his hands, started laughing at me. For I was screaming, storming about my tiny apartment: "What I want is my hairdresser's telephone number! Is that so much to ask?"
Mark took me in his arms, kissed my forehead and held me for a few minutes, allowing me a good cry.
Then, letting me go, he stepped and showed me what I looked like...
Stomp, stomp stomp..."I want that number and I want it NOOOOWWWW!"
I couldn't help but laugh at want I really looked like.
Next was the invivtations. My niece design our wedding invivations. Using Parchment paper, the invitations looked like scrolls.
And of course there  several complaints because they weren't "real wedding invitation" i.e not Emily Post approved.
Without getting into the details (Because it was done as a favor and we really did appreate the effort) there were problems with the printing job and tempers flew. The shock: no one expects ME to get angry. Because I am so 'nice' it is assured I will just roll over. There are several former classmates who ended up with busted lips who would tell you otherwise. When I let out a blast of flames, the matter was quickly settled.
The next was four days before the wedding and it had to do with the wedding party itself.
 In this case we were willing to make a compromise, but I let it be known the parties involved should have come to us instead of running to someone else. At this point I was ready to clute the whole thing and elope; with or without Mark.
Please don't ask me what that means: I was a stressed out bride at this time.
And then came the tirara. Each of the bridesmaids were going to wear a tiria since I was wearing a Coined Crown.
Would you believe there was a problem with that as well?
Lesson: Maid/Matron of Honour/brides's maids: it's the Bride's day. Please don't insist on YOUR way. Your role is an honour, not a right. Your job is to support your friend/ sister, and do the jobs you are asked. And as long as you are not asked to dye your hair green or shave it bald, don't kick up a fuss if your asked to have it curled, braided, upswept.
Brides: be willing to compromise. If you wish to keep these relationships after the wedding. Be willing to listen, be willing to give several options. And if it that important to you, be willing to pick up part of the cost.
But brides and grooms aren't mind readers. If your Tux or bride'smaid dress is something you can't allow, we are willing to work with you, even help with cost or make some changes since your presence is important to us.
We did this and we still have wonderful relationships with all but one that was in our wedding party.
All in all, I think I did ok.
For a Bridezille.

Where's The Scotch?

Planinng a wedding can make drive even saint to drink.
So many details, so many people who feel they have the right to tell you how it should be and not be done
For some, Mark and I were making a big deal out of it. I'd been married before and therefore it should be a small affair. 
What these folks fail to realize that in our traditional, for me, this marriage was a new beginning and worth celebrating. And it was Mark's first marriage and he wanted to celebrate our union.
 For others it was the religious issues. Many had a problem wrapping their brains over the traditons, over the program itself. And only one was decent enough to come to and ask US about what we were doing and not gossiping about us and our wedding plans to others.
Yes, I called it gossip. And it added to my stress level.
Today I advise brides to hire a Wedding Planner and I mean HIRE. Someone who does this for a living and not a personal friend, family memember or well-intended Caregroup memeber. If your place of worship has a Wedding Ministry, by all means work with and make use of  it.
The life you save will be those in your wedding party. Your groom. Your mother and soon to be mother by marriage.
I also advise work that body. If you jog, speed walk, kick-box, swim, etc, keep it up. If not, go to the Y and take up boxing. And don't forget the pink boxing gloves. It works off all of the stress and care and you walk away clear headed.
In my case, it was dance.
Since Marissa and Sarah were working with the dancers for the beginning of the wedding, I turned my attention to the groom's dance.
One day while running errands, I was musing out loud about the Daughters' of Zion Dance.

"Should it be in the beginning or the end.."
Mark piped up, "Don't worry baby, I'm dance for you"
"Your on!"
And to Mark's horror, I held him to it.

What was a hoot was the groomsmen.
None wanted to dance.
But of course, I had a trick up my sleeve...
You see, we have a saying: "Anything that makes the Bride rejoice."
And I used it to my advange.
"I am sure gla to hear your dancing for my wedding..." batting eyes, big smile.
"Of course, Laini. Anything to make the Bride rejoice."
Ahhhh the power :)
The "Rejoicing Over the Bride," over the bride was the Hora, a Hebrew dance done by Jews around the world during weddings, celebrating the becoming Bar/Bat Mitvzah, etc. It is very simple and can be picked up quickly.
Mark and I also worked on our first dance. Since I am 5'8 and Mark is 6'5, there is a slight height difference and we had to work on our waltz. Being a dance teacher, I am use to leading, so it was both hard and funny for me to give up the lead and allowing my body to just rest and trust Mark where he would lead me. Soon, the flow came and our pratices went well. I remember one afternoon whlle praticing at Beth Messiah, we felt eyes upon us. The workmen had stopped the work on the roof to watch us.
Mark just held me closer, reminding me many more eyes would be upon us for our first dance.
And of course there are spiritual truths here:
The success of a marriage rise or falls on the trust each mate has in the other. We are to yield to each other. There are times I lead in our love dance; they are times Mark does. But we  must trust each's steps.
We who claim the Name of Messiah have not yet been removed form the world. Our dance with our beloved, with our Beloved Messiah is viewed by a watching world. Are we waltzing together? Or fighting for control? Do they see a loving couple? Or the Clash of the Titians? When watching us, does the world seeing Yeshua in our lives, as the One leading our lives. Or do they see a breakdance solo?
It was during this time I realize when we prayed that people would see Yeshua in our relationship, our wedding, our marriage, this would be a tall order.
Were we up to the task?

Monday, 1 June 2009

One Month and Counting

I realize as I make this entry, it was four years ago today that it dawn on me I was getting married in 26 days.

We were at MacDonald's enjoying ice cream with my new two nephews and niece when the thought hit me.

And we were still working on the Huppah, I was still working on Mark's prayer shawl.

Mark's sister-in-law had come down to help when both dad and mum Reel took ill and we had to drive them back to Ohio. This also cut into our preparation time.

We just had to trust G-d to redeem the time and He did.

Sadly, a few of the people we wanted in our wedding party could not be a part due to our changes the date.

But we were thankful for those who were able to stand in

But I was also in for a shock: my wedding gown.

In march, I had been rushed to the ER due to a migraine headache. It was that bad and i had never suffered like that before. It turns out my blood pressure was through the roof and the only thing that stopped me from stroking was the vomiting taking pressure off my brain. It turns out I had a small tumor on my pituitary gland that made my pressure shoot up. Thankfully after three days in hospital I was send home with steroids to remove the tumor. But the steroid caused me to gain 20 pounds. Once off the steroid, I lost 10 pounds, but I still could not get in my wedding gown, which in February had been a perfect fit. I was told it had to be let out by an inch and a half. Which wasn't bad, but I was still in tears. The seamstress told me to eat lots of watermelon, drink water with lemon to remove the rest of the fluid. Which was the same advise I had received from my doctor.

Since I loved salad and salmon anyway, Mark in support of me, joined me in the adjustment of om y diet. Plus to be honest, hitting the fastfood places because we were so busy didn't help.

Lesson for future brides: no fastfoods. It adds to the stress as well as could affect your last fitting. Make time to prepare healthy meals. Workout and drink lots of water.

Well, the changes worked so well, not only did my gown fit nicely, it was loose!

On my wedding day I had to take tiny steps; no stripe teasing in the synagogue :)