Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Where's The Scotch?

Planinng a wedding can make drive even saint to drink.
So many details, so many people who feel they have the right to tell you how it should be and not be done
For some, Mark and I were making a big deal out of it. I'd been married before and therefore it should be a small affair. 
What these folks fail to realize that in our traditional, for me, this marriage was a new beginning and worth celebrating. And it was Mark's first marriage and he wanted to celebrate our union.
 For others it was the religious issues. Many had a problem wrapping their brains over the traditons, over the program itself. And only one was decent enough to come to and ask US about what we were doing and not gossiping about us and our wedding plans to others.
Yes, I called it gossip. And it added to my stress level.
Today I advise brides to hire a Wedding Planner and I mean HIRE. Someone who does this for a living and not a personal friend, family memember or well-intended Caregroup memeber. If your place of worship has a Wedding Ministry, by all means work with and make use of  it.
The life you save will be those in your wedding party. Your groom. Your mother and soon to be mother by marriage.
I also advise work that body. If you jog, speed walk, kick-box, swim, etc, keep it up. If not, go to the Y and take up boxing. And don't forget the pink boxing gloves. It works off all of the stress and care and you walk away clear headed.
In my case, it was dance.
Since Marissa and Sarah were working with the dancers for the beginning of the wedding, I turned my attention to the groom's dance.
One day while running errands, I was musing out loud about the Daughters' of Zion Dance.

"Should it be in the beginning or the end.."
Mark piped up, "Don't worry baby, I'm dance for you"
"Your on!"
And to Mark's horror, I held him to it.

What was a hoot was the groomsmen.
None wanted to dance.
But of course, I had a trick up my sleeve...
You see, we have a saying: "Anything that makes the Bride rejoice."
And I used it to my advange.
"I am sure gla to hear your dancing for my wedding..." batting eyes, big smile.
"Of course, Laini. Anything to make the Bride rejoice."
Ahhhh the power :)
The "Rejoicing Over the Bride," over the bride was the Hora, a Hebrew dance done by Jews around the world during weddings, celebrating the becoming Bar/Bat Mitvzah, etc. It is very simple and can be picked up quickly.
Mark and I also worked on our first dance. Since I am 5'8 and Mark is 6'5, there is a slight height difference and we had to work on our waltz. Being a dance teacher, I am use to leading, so it was both hard and funny for me to give up the lead and allowing my body to just rest and trust Mark where he would lead me. Soon, the flow came and our pratices went well. I remember one afternoon whlle praticing at Beth Messiah, we felt eyes upon us. The workmen had stopped the work on the roof to watch us.
Mark just held me closer, reminding me many more eyes would be upon us for our first dance.
And of course there are spiritual truths here:
The success of a marriage rise or falls on the trust each mate has in the other. We are to yield to each other. There are times I lead in our love dance; they are times Mark does. But we  must trust each's steps.
We who claim the Name of Messiah have not yet been removed form the world. Our dance with our beloved, with our Beloved Messiah is viewed by a watching world. Are we waltzing together? Or fighting for control? Do they see a loving couple? Or the Clash of the Titians? When watching us, does the world seeing Yeshua in our lives, as the One leading our lives. Or do they see a breakdance solo?
It was during this time I realize when we prayed that people would see Yeshua in our relationship, our wedding, our marriage, this would be a tall order.
Were we up to the task?

1 comment:

Merry'sthoughtshopesdreamsandshemes said...

Laini, I am telling you it is/was a joy to read this. You write so well, I feel like you are telling me or I am there.

Thanks for sharing your story with me.
Love Always, Merry