I would learn later that others had been pressing Mark about his relationship with me. He would say "we're friends."
I remember one day Rabbi quoting something I had to Mark. "Mark talks a lot about you." He stated.
It was clear to most who knew us that Mark loved me, but that he was also afraid of marrying me.
Or anyone esle for that matter.
One Shabbath I remember a story the Rabbi told. There was a man who loved a woman, but had cold feet. He could not bring himself to marry her. It was also feared that when he finally decided to wed, he would leave town before the wedding.
So, the Rabbi and the elders of the commuity decicded that the couple should marry on Shabbath. We don't do weddings on Shabbath (no work) since he would not be able to travel, he would have to go through the wedding. So the wedding went off and they lived to have a long, happy life.
I was sitting there thinking as I listening to this story: Mark would be the second groom married on Shabbath.
Funny; Rabbi thought the same thing.
One afternoon we went out to lunch. Mark told me: "I love you very much, but I must tell you Laini; I have cold feet!" Laater that evening, we went to a concert and a friend stopped to tell me: "Laini! G-d really has me praying for your husband!" Knowing Mark was close, I told her to keep praying.
I said: "I know you have cold, you have cold feet. All G-d's Children know you have cold feet. We are praying for those cold feet."
A few days later, we threw a small birthday party for my mum. She had a great time.
I had set the date; if Mark didn't ask me to marry him by the 14th , I was gone. I would continue being his caregiver, but when the cancer treatment was over, so was the relationship. It was a hard decicion and I would need G-d's strenght to see it through.But then, Feburany 13th, it all changed.....