Tuesday, 7 October 2008
The Best of Friends
The first year came and went. We saw each other lots in the hallway between services and after a year began to spend more and more time together.
Once Mark realize I wasn't married or seeing anyone, a beautiful friendship grew. We quickly became the best of friends.
We have the same love of music, reading, study, movies. Our personalities are so much alike we could have been siblings. But in those areas where we differ, we were the other's teacher. We truly had an interested in what the other was doing. I understood Mark was a student and working. It would be a while before he took a wife. A year maybe.
But I remember the day he asked if he could call me later. When he did, to the shock of both of us, I asked point blank:" why are you calling me? Do you wish a relationship with me or are you just looking for a hamburger buddy. I have lots of friends, I just like to know what the deal is between you and I. And why me?" Now, you have to understand; I have NEVER spoke to a man like that!
Mark later said I scared him to death! but his answer was; "Well, I do what to be friends and see where it goes from there. I like you. You are a delicious girl and you have a delicious sense of humor."
This is when I realize in many ways G-d w as leading and Mark didn't have idea one what he was doing. To call a girl delicious in Yiddish means 'a girl that is too good to be true. A girl who calls her grandmother once a week. A girl you take home to mama."
I started laughing and told him I was honoured by the comment.
I had spoken to my mum about Mark several times. And Mark wanted to meet her. So I brought Mark to where mummie was living at the time.
They fell in love. I could just leave the room and they would never miss me. From that day to this, Mark calls her mummie. For her part, mummie told me later, "he's the one."
"He's the one, what?"
"Mark loves you. He's just too scared to admit it."
Turns out: Mummie knows best.
Then came the moment of truth.
I knew I was a few years older.
But then came the night when I found out how much older than Mark I really was. More than a few years.
My mum reminded me that all of the women in our family married men who were at least ten years older than their husbands with the exception of one aunt who married an other man. That was true.
But I asked myself one question; would I truly throw away the best relationship, the most mature, g-dly, man I know just because I am several years older. It took all of twenty minutes to answer no.
Of course, Mark also wrestled with the same question, coming up with the same answer.
So, we were moving along. He even asked both our parnets how they would feel if we 'got together.' Everyone said, no problem. But then came the war....
I had just gotten word that my son was already overseas and with the rumors of war, his ship would be pulled into the battle.
One day Mark was helping me decorate my townhouse for Hanukkah when he said; "did I tell you I got my orders to Iraq?"
No, he hadn't told me he had gotten orders to Iraq.....
Because of his skills and rank, Mark was reactivated back into active duty.
Great. I had to fall in love with an army captain.
Later that night, all I could utter was, "L-rd, both of them????"