Wednesday, 15 October 2008

The Next Day

Mummie had told me the evening before, that she didn't wish to go Mark's Parents for Christmas Dinner.
But the next day, she changed her mind, so Mark and I to drive from Norfolk to Virginia Beach (a 45 minute drive) and pick her up before we went to his parents, who live in Porthmouth.
Again, everyone waited for Mark to say something about the nature of our relationship.
He didn't.
At this point we were fighting more.

I was feeling used; all I was is his nurse and once he was finish with treatment, bye-bye Laini.
But Mark had a fight on his hands. Not just the cancer, but the army itself to get his benefits. Mark had to prove that he became sick while in Iraq. This way, he could get his health benefits and his salary. Mark had made it clear he wanted to make sure he would be able to take care of me. At the moment, he didn't have a income and didn't think it fair to ask me to marry him and have nothing to offer me.

Now I can look back and understand and appreciate his feelings.
Later in the evening, Mark told me he would be leaving to spend a few days with his family at his older sister's. I could only hope that he would use that time to not only rest, but to really consider what and who wanted in his life.

I showed his mum how to give Mark his injections.

A few days later, Mark called unexpectly to let me know he was back in town. I was surprised: expected him to be gone at least a week.
Mark told me he had to give himself the injections and was very happy to have me do them from now on.
As Mark took off his cap, some of his hair came falling down like autumn leaves down. I was looking up at patches of hair.

The affects of Chemo. He told me he awoke to find hair on his pillow.
I couldn't hold back the tears. This was MY moment of truth; the man I loved has Cancer and I could lose him.
Mark took me in his arms and allowed me cry.

He said it's ok. He had cried too.
Later, we made plans to have a hair shaving party later in the week. It was a reminder to Mark that he still had control of this disease and he must not allow it to run his life.

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