In the Spring of 1999, during a filming of a Play I was in, I slipped and fell upon a grape someone dropped, breaking my right ankle and left foot. It is believed that this is what led to the weakling of my achille's tendon and finally being slowly cut away by huge heel spurs.
Praise G-d I did not need surgery. The doctor kept me in a cast for nine weeks; since it was a clean break, I didn't need surgery, just allow it to heal. Then six weeks of PT. During this time, two friends of my were getting married. Their story, much like Mark and my. This would be my first Messinaic Jewish wedding and I went to the needlepoint store to find just the right pattern. And I found one. It had been out of stock for many years, but there it was; a cross-stictch book with Jewish Holiday patterns. It included a pattern for a Ketubah. That is what I decided to give my friends. Their Ketubah.
I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Having told the groom, Don what I was doing and asked if there was anything special he wanted me to say. No, he didn't, just do as I felt the Spirit would lead. Then I told Don that the cross-stitch was in hebrew...Don didn't know what it said, but gave me his rabbi's number. Rabbi David (may he rest in peace) told me it was a standard Ketubah. Fine. What does it say?
I called every rabbi in Tidewater and asked the same question and got the same answer. It is a standard ketubah. Fine, cool. What does it SAY? Even my now rabbi gave me the same answer. My problem? It was summer and all the rabbis were leaving for vacations and not taking appointments, so there was no one to show the pattern to. Finally, one rabbi did refer me to his cantor and the cantor looked at the pattern and explained what it said, showing me the places of names, dates, etc.
Well that helped. But I still wasn't getting my question answered; I needed to know what it said word for word. Finally, my crutches and I headed for Barnes and Noble. Iwas looking up hebrew books when I spotted The New Jewish WeddingThis wonderful book became one of my treasures. I leafed through the book and AHA! there it was, a Ketubah and in both Hebrew and Engish. Finally! the answer I had been searching for.
As I read this book of wonder, I became more and more comnvice that if I was so blessed to marry, I would indeed have a Jewish Wedding.
Don and Cathy's wedding was indeed beautiful. I had never seem the Godspel played out so beautifully in a wedding. I made mental notes. Later Don asked if I have gotten any ideas for my own wedding.
The funny thing was, since I was making the Ketubah, Don told Rabbi David I would bring it. The Ketubah is the marriage covnenat. It is the least romantic or spiritual part of the service. The Ketubah spells out the rights of the wife, the promises the husband makes; to love, support, care for you, provide a home clothing, work for you, etc. It protects the woman. Without the Ketubah, there is no wedding. However, my was a cross-stitch, a gift. I thought Don was going to get one be signed during the service. When I arrived, I showed him the Ketubah, took it to Rabbi David and during the service Don showed the very Ketubah I made for the couple and read the very words I wrote! I didn't expect that.
It was at this time that G-d began to speak to my heart about getting married. And this book was my blueprint.
Years later, Mark and I would compare notes on the Jewish wedding. He was storing away everything I was saying and later would work to make the wedding of my dreams come true.